Dreamer...

Given a major portion of my life to it…some thinking about it and the other some trying to learn what actually it about is! Though now after all that time I still don’t know what I was here to know… all the while I have developed a feeling. A Feeling developed, neither of love nor reverence but complete aversion. Repugnance is not for the craft but the factual dexterities required to master the craft! I thought the craft was to display but a parade is what I must learn. Crafts have their language but the things that confuse me are the polished euphemism. The conveyance of skill needs a medium. There are men whose expertise communicates all that is worthy of getting across. Though, step in some middlemen who promote not craft but all that is other than that. All this not at the cost of the craftsmen or the crafts for those are entities far beyond reach but the impact of it is faced by the learners, the beginners… the student. Who is to distinguish between crafts and business when both...

Could have called these musings but the profound use of the verb off-late has resulted in it not being just a thought but a “celebrity” off-late. Also the depths to be reached have transformed into soaring heights. I don’t really know what I mean there I just hope I end up reflecting what I want to. Wishing those reflections are intelligible by me too. For I assume that more often than not people see beyond what I had foreseen. All of these put together form something’s that I have no words for. Though I know these something’s form those things that call themselves the “whatever”. Hence, this attempt begins from the conclusion, beginning from that which is a CULMINATION, a CEASING. The process of emptying into one, leads to ‘the rest’ becoming ‘a whole’. This is all but obvious and nothing worth a mention. The fact, though, that it has been stated, stated again no different shows no reason but ‘DESPERATION’, the Desperation to talk, to be heard, to reach out and know a lot. So th...

A flower that longed for the butterfly would never refuse its color even though the butterfly might not want it. I was told that there are things beyond conditions too. I consider myself oblivious still, I have lost sanity too. I thought you know so much, you knew the conditions too.

Not everyone is capable of it. Not everyone can understand. Many may think that they are at the core but the last they know is they could be at the shore. They may not feel it but they say it. Say it out and aloud. Not everyone differentiates between saying and expressing. Somehow, the ones who express have a tough time “saying”. Not everyone listens to an expression. The expressions are probably difficult to hear. Expressions were may be meant only for the soul. Though, not everyone connects. There is a language of no-scripts though not everyone acknowledges. It is because of that language do I know that you were never the one. Though, my one might have just expressed. Not even I could “say”. The tacit word is not for you. We belong to different worlds. Though, he understands just what I say he might as well not know what you did not. Though, I could tell him all of it but he isn’t lexical, you see. The language needs no teaching but not everyone believes, I see. There was ...

just couldn't help mention here! If you can't understand my silence....how can I expect you to understand my words? It's not an attitude....it's the way I am

It's weird even for me to say it but finally there is something I am not confused about. I am not very sure whether or not is correct to be mentioning it here but I wish I could paint the city to inform one and all. I don care about coming across as someone absolutely insane but I was just wondering whether it would be incorrect to shout out from the rooftops. I have a bag full of mixed feelings and am just so loving every bit of it. Not that I am not in a mood to disclose those feelings right here right now...but the only concern is the reason (the specific 1) which has me feeling this way might not find it to be such a good idea. The thing is it's only me who feels this way, I don't even know how the reason behind my feeling so elated, feels about my feeling this way. The irony is 'the reason' is not even probably aware of this state I am in. I wish I could paint the town "RED"... I wish I could tag all those mixed feeling under this 1 heading...I wish ...

I know tht thr's nothing in the world which happens " just like tht" but then 'feeling blue' right now is JLT. May be I don want to elaborate on those reasons and hence trying to get away with "JLT" wtever it is...it's strange and deep. A deep deep 'blue', the depths no one can reach, the depths which are safer alone. Even if there was something 2 show around tht far away, I have my gears worn out and I hv decided to nt seek help "JLT"...There aren't many capable of seeing far & I see no one worthy of travelling that far...don put up the "Y's"...all I'll say is..."just like tht"...

There are times when you expect a certain quantity of 'quality' time from someone in particular. That someone though, has different priorties in life, priorties very different from yours, priorties which differ from the you, 'you' have been. Then you begin to change because of them or may be it's something inside you that you have always wanted something of a kind which you are now very close to, you start fantasizing, start believing that the one thing you thought is a light years far away from you is rather just around the corner. Then you eventually loose the power of deciphering the thin veil of difference. The difference between your dreams and 'you'. Your dreams were still probably around you but in a different direction...a direction you were not looking in. The reality on the contrary, the thing you mistook for your dreams wasnot what you anticipated...it was to suck up all your energies, to fade away your dreams, to take away from you the onethi...

Would living alone be tough? can u do justice to anything/anyone in the world if u can't stop wishing fr a 1 special aspect...is it ever possible to stop wishing for the special most desire that had cropped up inside u without ur knowledge? i dont think thts human...even if it is, thats not a task im capable of...i dont even want to make myself capable of it. given these facts...do i deserve a normal treatment? "frm nw no", if i cant do justice to any 1 else...do i deserve justice? "frm nw no", i cant prove myself honest...am i worth an ear? "frm nw no", i cant gv my 100% to ne nw...shud i b entitled to ne? "FRM NW NO" the 1 who is all...recognized me nt...am i worth ne identification at all? "frm nw no" i cudnt reach where i wanted to...shud i evr gt ne destination? "frm nw no" is there ne wish tht i hv a strong s the 1 my ignorance cold bloodedly killed... "frm nw no" will i ever be me without tht? "frm nw...

It's such a thing to be happy.... Something that's even better and ecstatic is seeing someone else smile showing that they are in that same state of happiness and knwoing that you have made some contribution to the fact they are happy. There is something about being happy and making others around you happy 'coz i don't know how but I always feel that there's something mystical about the joyful moments. some how the onething i know on earth probably travells faster than the speed of light are the vibes exuded by the spirited people beautyfiying the surface of our planet. Though i know i don't always remember that but i just felt since this is one time when i am really happy lemme just record the mantra that has lived since times immemorial but has dawned upon me in this light only now... MAKE OTHERS HAPPY AND HAPPINESS WILL WRAP YOU UP IN IT'S EVER EMBRACING ARMS! and just in case you think that's tough with never content people of the present times, just...

raging hormones are obviously common with people my age....i know dt....bt then u hv more reasons to get a hold onto thoz distracting chemicals....than just moral science lecturzz nd the f****** society which takes an unmistaking delight in taking fun out of everything thts supposed to be fun... but here i am saying that, yes u hv reasons other than thoz stated abuv which wud rather push a red-blooded young being on a spree just the opposite. that reason is all for ur gud....if its ne kind f ne mental companion ur luking towards hving...thoz hormones r sure to hinder tht process...or better still confuse u till the extents u cant even imagine... so trust me, gv thoz stinking elements a chuck nd let them be kept fr future use f ...f***** the indian economy further.......pushing the resources further into the abyss...those hideous things r gud fr nothing else bt ruining every damn thing nd engender all the abhorrence, repugnance, revulsion, aversion the earth has ever known..... till u d...

sent by a friend ..a senior...to help...its awesum.... Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds and shall find me unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul

Whenever I said I have a great luck ... - i was just so underestimating it... Few people i think have a luck as strong as mine...anything i truly want i get it! Though, there are hardly 2 many things i madly want...i truly set my eyes on...and the moment i do set my eyes on...and want that from the core of my heart i get it! What is the key to deliberately wanting something? How do i explore the new options? How do i find newer things, things intriguing enough to initiate in me a longing...the longing that directs my luck to fetch it from any corner of the world for me? What is it that sets a difference between the things i have at hand and need to work on and the other few that hit the depths of my heart and soul, even though these things at hand are not imposed by anybody else but chosen by my own self? Is it the things around me that are not interesting enough? Or is it me not being able to view those things in the right perspective? Is the initiation required to be done, ...

life is not about finding yourself. IT'S ABOUT CREATING YOURSELF... i don't really know whether or not do i understand the meaning of these lines nor do i know whether i am in the right position to be able to appreciate those words. though, of reading those words i felt life, which seemingly is the subject in the above lines is in the least the subject. the subject rather, is the "self" because of which life is. To let yourself flow and keep trying to discover the direction ur flowing in is vanity. The courage rather lies in deciding upon a destination u decide not to flow in the direction of but swim ur way to. As you swim ur way till your desired mark you celebrate on ur way that u choose a path fr urself and are solely responsible for anything coming along in the chosen course. The celebration lies in not acclimatizing to the hard-hitting waves but evolving a stroke to surpass the hurdle with equanimity.

How many of us actually, precisely know what we are looking for??? ...looking for in our lives, looking for in ourselves, looking for in the people who are to share our space for the rest of our lives... is a clarity on that account too much and too tough to ask for? is a clarity on that front required? or is it just the unnecessary thinking of a "wandering mind"... what is it that makes some people so special? what is it that makes certain people understand every underlying emotion without our having to say anything? why is it that only some people understand and connect with us in that manner? why is it that the ones who were not to understand and connect with us in that desired, whimsical manner meet up with us, come in contact with us? ...is it correct to adage words like 'WHIM AND DESIRE' with connection? should connections not be JUST about those virtues of desire and whim? ...from where does that longing of being read like an open book come from? how can we exp...

love what is mortal...hold it against your bones knowing that your life depends on it...and when the time comes, " LET IT GO".

I shouldn't be wasting my time i know that....but even if i do waste my time, i waste it the way i like it sleeping or doing stuff dt i wnt to...so that is not exactly a waste is it? any ways, its my time i have all rights over it i can use it or misuse it but why should i let some one else misuse my time? specially the ones who don't really make efforts to take time out for me...the ones who don't respect me enough to value my time, have no right to expect from me that i would ever take out time for them, least of all let them misuse the most precious commodity i have. A commodity so precious it could well become the measure of the depth of feelings one has for some one. Emotions are no barter i agree but I am no saint to take time out even for the ones who have neither time for me nor value for the time I have for them. as for the title of this post, its been so titled because if there is anything in the world love for someone can be judged is by the virtue of time...how ...

i feel that ways......yes.....choked! A vulnerable girl that i was, i still am that vulnerable. my trust though has been breached not once only. trusting people and the situation of being held in amazement and awe now seems a sin. a sin i'm dying to commit. committing tht sin is though now a dilemma, which it nvr was. so here i am almost trying to change the rhythm of my heartbeats. the anxiety you can imagine is obvious.

love actually love actually is all around us i am not preaching. i am only learning. i am sharing my learnings. i have recently been told, " love actually is all around us ". Love could be anywhere. It could be the love of parents, the love of siblings, the love of a boyfriend/girlfriend, the love of old friends. All said and done there is onething which is more true than anything in the world, " love actually is all around us ". Love doesn't change, it transforms. Love could demand, love could give. Love could be magic, it could be reality. But love is essence. The essence of everything that makes you happy. Love is transparent. Love is generous. Love is natural. Natural as it is there is nothing that brings you closer to yourself. Love teaches you everything that is to be learnt. Love lives in you. Love stays with you. "love actually is for you" "love actually is for me" something that makes you and me is... love actually ...

He loves me, I love him...there can not be anything more than this !!! It's not very tough to be in love. specially when you don't think about "what you're stepping into". It's easier even when you are ready to give your 100%. It's not very tough to give yourself to the ones you love. The fact that you are giving them the power to hurt you more than anyone else is also not very difficult to accept. The difficulty of changing yourself as per their whims would also diminish when you love. A situation where you start loving someone more than you thought you ever would, might bring tears to your eyes but believe me, is not deadly. If there is any situation in love which can be tough is when the person you expect love from loves you more than you thought you deserve.