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once strong broken twice!!

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I really don't know if I am giving away every detail with that heading but I am scared to death...
I have given all that I had once and I have seen things go hay wired...feeling every bit of what went wrong was my fault!
I am just so scared of those awry things being repeated again...scared not because I don't want to improve or I don’t want to change!
Scared, because I don't as yet know why those things happened in the fashion I least wanted!
I just so turn negative when the most minuscule of the instances reflect those mishaps of the past, when the slightest of occurrences resemble the by-gone turmoil.

I just thought I was strong once but I am realizing with each passing moment that the strength would melt away and if something of the past were to now repeat itself ...the me in me 'once strong' would be 'broken twice'!!!

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